And since the first breaking of my heart, I discovered that I grew another one for the broken as I often find myself wishing that their pain would end, that my words would do more than console but actually glue the pieces together. How convenient that would be to everyone, if there was somehow a fairy with a magic wand whose only purpose is stitch the debris of an ended relationship, or might be a magician who’ll conduct a disappearing act on the memories that cause the shards to ache. But, just as I, and all those who have caught this flu and conquered it; you must walk alone, into the road of thorns, and never look back.
There will always be walls and walls of you that cannot be tapered down by wrecking balls or jackhammers –
An elaborate labyrinth has hedged you from the rest of the world, never to see the sunrise nor the sunset
You travel it desperately with the sins of those who never gave a damn
and pushed away the prying hands of those who knew the pearl within the clam
There are no winners in this argument
And I will keep that secret with you.
If it was down to choosing sides,
I know it wouldn’t be me
as it has always been me that was discarded
in the middle of a bridge or the highway
But I hoped and wished and prayed – despite not believing in those kind of fairytales –
that it would
that maybe this time
I wouldn’t be the loser to be picked last