Entry #2

posted on Mirakee and @sydneysonglesssiren on instagram

It’s ironic how some people will always be someone or something to you even after the array of emotions come between has all but faded

I guess forgiveness is becoming a recurring theme this year.

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Withdrawals

We each put a foot inside the circle, steadying our breaths as we wait for it to flinch, the pronouncement of an event that would force us to withdraw our lower extremities so that we may be safe from the swinging blade that might cut us in half. Admit it. This is fun. Gambling the attachment of an extremely useful body part all in the name of love. This bet that we roll dies with, drawing every ounce of energy and splurging it on this one chance. This one thing that we know will make or break us… or at least until we get over it. If there will be anything to get over. If this actually works out.

Those were my exact sentiments when we were starting our withdrawing relationship. Now we’re inside the circle and the swinging blade has been replaced. Two now exist, swooshing alternately behind the both of us. We are smushed together within this circle, our haven, our home. Both of us though, has a toe out of line. For the moment the clock dings, the blades will cease and we will – reluctantly – part to partake in responsibilities. In separate worlds revolving around the same orbit, we venture with another withdrawal hanging over our heads. And as our fingers break away, we both smile – after the pouting and promises – thankful for even the smallest bit of sand that we’ve had. We know this isn’t the end. This is also not the beginning. But it is the wistful middle. Where our hearts are in the right place but our corporeal essences are someplace else. Where we have no idea of what the Fates have in store for us. And maybe that is enough for now… to be love-struck wanderers of this universe that will always stray too far away but come home to each others arms, in this smidge of a circle where the blades will always exist; awaiting for the blow to end it all or the one that will finally snip the implacable withdrawals into oblivion.