OUR SPACE

You and I occupy different orbits that run clockwise and counter,
meeting only after a weekly revolution
or when the weather is nice enough that we cheat the course
and find ourselves saying “Hello” within those small windows of
crossing
The planets giggle at our sporadic alignment as asteroids fly by to run
interference
yet we sprout brighter and hotter than any star in the system
a constant constellation to look forward to —

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SuperNova

In this vast galaxy powdered with glitter,
(each more bizarre than the other)
two lone stars drifted too close,
fluttering amicably as planets and moons pass them by –
shyly gleaming in the clouds or
slyly glinting sparks to the Sun:
destined to fall out of orbit whizzing to detonate a
supernova…

When

I am afraid of matchsticks burning my fingers
or elevator doors slicing me in half
I am terrified of kissing you for the last time in a day
or waking up realizing you no longer love me
I am frightened of the future, of what tale it would hold, if it’d still be you and me
or just… me
I am petrified of these thoughts, of these dreams, of these fears that latch when I look into your eyes
and catch all this warmth and not know what to do if they disappear, when –

Still Life

She is a block of stubborn marble
being sculpted to a certain design,
to a certain direction,
to a figure that speaks a different
message from what she intended,
from her transcendental essence –

With each hammer-strike another part of her is
ticked off, important pieces that the artist
dismisses; the pieces she cradled within the walls
of her prison,
of her person,
of her…

The fleshing of she not being she as
limbs and torso and intellect function only through commands and demands,
this precious stone, this block, this cell,
this compact arrangement of atoms that
thirst delicate fingers of art, of feeling,
of anything but this undulating hollowness
the fraud calls Still Life

“US”

The crook of your neck is my favorite place to rest my chin,

to bury my nose deep into the crutches of your scent: the natural musk of my person manifested

as a trail of fingertips tiptoe on your bare chest, a smile tugs at my lips gently at the bliss of midday splayed around you,

in turn, you scratch my back fondly: the soft contours of my unflattering body don’t feel as unflattering anymore

rather, you transform me into a wonderland of bubbles, mischief and sweetness encircled in this secret display of “us”

VINDICATED

There is a disgusting creature living inside all of us,

That feed on the pettiest desires, spelunking within the depths of mind palaces, it
magnifies them to ridiculous extremes; diluting the senses to things of import

With its potential to destroy our lives and

those around us that

For some –

The choices they make are as easy as

The snap of fingers as if its sound echoes to the great beyond

Sending the signal to raze whatever may come its way or whatever it is unnecessary

And in its contentedness to exist in this manner; untouched and unharmed
by his demon’s own self-destruction

He lives vindicated

 

Travel Collection Entry#4: Sirao, Cebu

I went to a garden in Sirao
found another realm in each flower
Flaunting and flirting butterfly wings
Picturesque couples exchanging rings

The sun perches on marshmallow clouds
shines on different statues standing proud
A cliff-drawn fairy princess tower
God’s giant palm where men don’t cower

Such a beautiful wee Amsterdam

 

Playing God. Playing Victim.

You are a puppet master
With a dancing marionette
Playing god in this shadow play,
Keeping secrets, keeping pockets
Full of gold and silver, jangling in pouches
Nicked from mesmerized spectators, even the magister’s purse!

A fireworks of theater, spectacular shams, grand eruptions galore!

But oh! The sirens assault and the audience scampers except YOU, thick-skinned fiend, whisper more, whisper more, whisper more
rumours in the ears of foot-soldiers! Play your part. Play it so. Play victim to the convoluted catacombs of your imagined riches.

Lagusan

Nasa loob tayo ngayon ng isang napakahabang lagusan

madilim, makipot,

mahirap huminga

nakakapuot –

malamig na hangin ang pumupulupot sa ating

mga balikat, malalayo ang ating mga daliri,

malalayo ang ating mga binti, malalayo ang ating mga sarili walang ibang malapit kundi

katahimikan –

nakakabingi, nakakasuka, nakakabaliw

Bakit nariyan ka sa kabilang dulo?

Nakatalikod. Dumudungaw sa liwanag

Samantalang, heto ako, nakatitig – isinasaulo -nang bawat linya at kurba ng iyong silweta

Napapaisip kung nararamdaman mo ba,

kung nagsisitindigan ba ang iyong mga balahibo?

kung may nararamdaman ka pa ba – Naalala ko noong namamasyal ang ating mga labi sa iba’t-ibang lugar ng pasikreto, mga bulong na nagdadala ng maiinit na hininga,mga yakap na nagpapakalma sa pusong pagod, pusong kapos at pusong nag-iisa

Naiintindihan mo ba ang mga sinasabi ko? Nakikinig ka ba? hindi ito katulad ng dati! Hindi maaring ganito tayo, na para bang lahat ng bagay ay nasa kaayusan, na ang langit at ang lupa ay magkaibang daigdig pa, na para bang walang bulkang nagaalburuto sa kailaliman ng ating pagkatao, sa ating relasyon, ilang kahon na ng sigarilyo ang kailangan mong sindihan nilang kasa ng alak nang kailangan kong laklakin bago mo idura sa mundo ang katotohanan Katotohanan? Ani mo, isang nagyeyelong gabi sa tabi ng kalsada

Anong pinagsasabi mo? Hindi mo ako maintindihan. Hindi mo ako naiintindihan. Hindi mo ako iniintindi.

Putang ina. Pagod na akong habulin ka palabas ng humahabang lagusan na ito na ni minsan hindi ako nakalapit para hawakan yang mga kamay mo

Dugo’t pawis ang tumitibok sa mga tenga ko, nabibingi sa mga palusot mo

Nalilitong mga luha at makipot na lalamunan sa tuwing papalampasin mo ang araw ng walang halik sa noo

Ano pa ba ang gusto mo saakin? Pa ang itatanong mo at iinit ang ulo ko

Oo nga, ano pa nga ba ang gusto ko? Ano pa nga ba ang kailangan ko sayo?

Nung isang buwan pa ito pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko parin masambit, nagpapasensya nanaman akong muli, dahil Mahal, mahal kita… Simple at direkta, kaya nagagawa kong pagtiyagan ang distansya sa kadahilanang mahal na mahal kita. pero Mahal, tao din ako. Mahal, pagod na rin akong mahalin ka. Mahal, hindi ko na kayang ako lang ang nagmamahal sa ating dalawa. Mahal, ubos na ubos na ako na naipangutang ko na ang aking kaluluwa. Mahal, naiiintindihan mo ba? Mahal, ayoko na dito sa dilim, palabasin mo na ako sa lagusang ito.