Category Archives: Just Things

caffeinated at 12:49am

and maybe the truth is, I never learned anything
but only to muffle my tears into quieter ones


Shitty Sparks

​You’re looking for the sparks?

Oh, they disappeared long ago…right when both of you were busy with your individual worlds. She, with her late night shifts at the office. He, with his out-of-town business meetings that never seem to miss a weekend.

They tried to bring you together, you know.

You know. During the cloudy days when the rain would burst like a million water-balloons. They were lightning whizzing the streets, in search for the cab that got you stuck in bad traffic – always bad traffic – trying to pry your folded hands to pick up your phones and call the other.
To tell them…

To tell them what?

That I’m not in love with you anymore?

Attempting to get in touch with my long lost “artistry”

I have been in a creative bust since the start of my teaching career. I haven’t been able to write or draw (let alone read a book). Although, to be honest, I haven’t quite been in the “feeling” mode as well. I often “feel” like I’m on neutral rather than the overwhelming catastrophe of emotions I used to be.

Sooo, I decided to try to get in touch with my evidently missing artistic soul. And this is the result.

I’m not completely disappointed but also not completely elated. I got tired while doing the hair, hence, the angry unblended lines. I’ve recently been binge-watching Pretty Little Liars and I really love Troian Bellisario’s character, Spencer Hastings…

Well, this attempt has certainly sparked an interest to re-pursue my old hobbies. So, there’s that.



I didn’t realize it then…
or entertained the thought long,
and I don’t know if you remember a phone call,
years before this blew up in our faces,
when I said “I love you,” for the first time (the actual first time)
Because I had misheard you – the slight gurgle of those uncertain, almost unintelligible
three words- and thought you had said the same.
I had daydreams about this, a little secret I played with
myself – one of the pastimes in my head

​There’s a certain finality to a feeling or a fact when you arrange them into words in your head or utter them with your lips… that make them harder to take back and harder to suppress. 

It’s when the reality of things seem like a distant galaxy and now a meteor shower has come unnotified. Flustered, you duck for cover but still in view of a nocked arrow.