It is sad to admit that I am out of practice with the use of words, with how to arrange them into the waves of the tropics; calm and soothing… instead, I am assaulted by untamed waters from the whirlpools of the deep; pulling random items from shipwrecks into the mix, making everything choppy and uncoordinated. It is sad to admit that I haven’t been practicing, it is sadder still to realize I haven’t had the time and head space for it but it is the saddest to acknowledge that I am shifting, to and fro, towards relieving myself from this dream that will remain a dream.
If it makes you terrified, go for it. Chances are, you’ll come out stronger…and if you don’t you can still brag about doing it.
It’s hard to believe you’re beautiful when you’ll only ever be drunk, without your glasses, swaying with the blurry lights into the sunrise.
Tara, inom tayo.
Happiness is not something we choose without consequences. We will always face consequences. Happiness is a feeling, not a state of mind. There are steps to achieve that gratifying smile that can be felt all over your body. There are certain requirements. You do not tell someone “BE HAPPY” and enchant them. You push slowly like the calm ocean, gingerly scratching the shore and dragging it in your clutches until the shore has become the ocean floor and the ocean floor, in its entirety, has become your norm.
But I am not the sand, not the shore that can adapt to any environment, I cannot breathe underwater — I can only drown.
I have this odd fixation with the word HAPPINESS. There are a billion words in the world and why have I always chosen to define happiness in my poems?
I honestly have nothing today.
I dove into “us” like a daredevil somersaulting at the edge of a waterfall: exhilarated by the burst of the wind as I fell free, hitting the pool headfirst swatting away words against us. This is real, this is fate. No surprise, the splash did not douse us of the enchantment many claim has bewitched us. We didn’t take the plunge because we had no one else to cling to. We did it out of our volition. We fell because it felt right.
I never thought I would still be at this on Day #16. It’s becoming a chore but I love how it allows me to write a couple of drafts, forcing me to practice writing and using words. It’s not the same as writing the damned manuscript (no progress!) but it’s a start.
Two friends stopped talking to each other because of a failed communication.
Two friends sat together as if nothing rifted them apart.
I find taking the reins to be quite fruitful.
(also, I promised to be consistent with prose but here I am again. Hahahaha 😂)