When memories resurface. You’d be surprised that the feelings are different.
I had just finished reading Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler and Maira Kalman and it left a nick in my heart. Nay. It had nicked my heart where it used to be broken.
Although, it took me about five to six months (yeah, that long!) to finish it. I have no regrets. The closure and questions that that relationship had left were answered by this book.
It made me realize that you don’t need to have those questions answered by the person who gave them to you. You also don’t need to find someone else to answer them for you. It’s something you have to figure out for yourself. It’s something that you have to define and accept.
The difficult part was not the break up itself. It was three simple words “BREAK NA TAYO”. No, the difficult part was the feeling of being unwanted, discarded, unworthy. The question of “Was I not enough?” and “Will I never be enough?” became the dilemma. It was also the feeling of extricating yourself from the entanglement of attachment. Remembering you was easy but missing you was like getting my breath knocked out of my lungs. Tears will spill involuntarily and the world will seem like hell. Nothing was bright and everything was to be hated.
It’s true, though. Time heals everything. There might be some residues here and there, how can there not be? But, learning to live and love again was, by far, better than those years with you. I was Min Green for you when I should’ve been your Juliet.