The Return

I feel so out of place‚ so out of sync in this city I grew up in.
The people I knew‚ mere faces I recognize but don’t know
only after-tastes of something delicious of which the original flavor has been lost in the belly of my person

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There was always this pull towards you
like when the ocean rises on a moon full.
A sensation that tingles every time you were in my radar;
the subtle warning that I could plummet at any moment –
if only I hadn’t resisted so long

But then I caved.,

And in letting gravity sweep me off my feet,
taking a trip to the galaxy and round-a-bout the stars
I landed on your open heart-step
with a ticket that says “Admit one,”

Priceless

He has this look that says he wants to give you the world and
everything in it
to place it on the palm of your hand‚

And he tries to accomplish this everyday
with little trinkets he either bought or made;
hoping to win your approval

But‚ I tell you‚ it’s not the gifts you should be happy about –
though there’ll be a lot

It’s that look that is priceless

There are poems to be found in
used journals and scribbles at the back of
your school notes
In the old files hidden somewhere in your
hard drive or on the expanse of blue above while you
graze on the uncut green

My Escapist

It wasn’t that he was a coward
No. He was much braver than the lion
and much smarter than the owl

hahahaIt was just the fleeting moment of fight or flight that got his bones wringing
the escapist in him singing
that he threw himself so high; out of sight, out of reach, free –

and he’s been there since

I was Min Green

When memories resurface. You’d be surprised that the feelings are different.

I had just finished reading Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler and Maira Kalman and it left a nick in my heart. Nay. It had nicked my heart where it used to be broken.

Although, it took me about five to six months (yeah, that long!) to finish it. I have no regrets. The closure and questions that that relationship had left were answered by this book.

It made me realize that you don’t need to have those questions answered by the person who gave them to you. You also don’t need to find someone else to answer them for you. It’s something you have to figure out for yourself. It’s something that you have to define and accept. why-we-broke-up

The difficult part was not the break up itself. It was three simple words “BREAK NA TAYO”. No, the difficult part was the feeling of being unwanted, discarded, unworthy. The question of “Was I not enough?” and “Will I never be enough?” became the dilemma. It was also the feeling of extricating yourself from the entanglement of attachment. Remembering you was easy but missing you was like getting my breath knocked out of my lungs. Tears will spill involuntarily and the world will seem like hell. Nothing was bright and everything was to be hated.

It’s true, though. Time heals everything. There might be some residues here and there, how can there not be? But, learning to live and love again was, by far, better than those years with you. I was Min Green for you when I should’ve been your Juliet.