Involuntary Ten

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling,

counting my breath from 1 –

2 –

3 –

You’re still not there. Maybe off on an adventure,

One I care nothing of, one I am not a part of

So, I close my eyes and count again, this time, the beats of my heart, 4 –

5 –

6 – Sigh…

You’re still in there, somewhere, tucked underneath the folds

a place inside me that I can’t reach. a place where I have no control

I count once more, how many blinks my eyes perform,

7, 8, 9 –

Tears never reached the floor…

that’s right, nothing comes after that –

You never were anywhere anymore.

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